Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Dont' Count to 10

How to Hang on to Your Anger

1.Hold your breath – none of that counting to 10 and taking deep breaths – that will cause all that powerful anger to leak away and you will be left feeling calmer

2.Notice what you are thinking and keep thinking the same thing over and over so you can keep your anger very revved up. Hold on very tightly to those thoughts – do not distract yourself with ideas like “this will pass.” This will cause your anger to leak away and you will be left feeling calmer.

3.Blame other people or circumstances to the best of your ability. This takes all the control out of your hands, makes you feel absolutely powerless and will build your anger to a really good volcanic level.

4.Don’t take any personal responsibility for your feelings. Similar to the above suggestion – if you can convince yourself that you have nothing to do with the way you are feeling – you don’t even have to try to change anything. Brilliant!

5.Blame yourself and try to think of as many ways possible to call yourself names. (Note the difference between taking responsibility for your feelings and blaming yourself - this is a BIG understanding. Taking responsibility deflates anger and self righteousness, gives you the power to make changes. Blaming increases your feelings or powerlessness and stupidity and your sense of righteousness will be HUGE - this builds a great head of steam).

6.Don’t move – keep yourself in any situation that creates a good level of anger for you. If you leave the situation your anger may disperse and you might not be able to build it back up to such a good level for awhile.

7.No physical activity like cleaning something up or going for a walk! This will definitely ruin a good build up of anger

8.If you have a problem that keeps making you feel angry, do not share it with anyone or look to anyone who may have had a similar problem. Talking about your difficulty will divert your powerful anger into problem solving or letting off steam and this will definitely ruin your anger.

9.Do not go near any of that relaxation, meditation, yoga, visualization stuff. It is just ridiculous to think that taking some deep breaths, stretching your muscles or imagining a beautiful scene will do anything but totally ruin your anger. These kinds of activities divert your energy away from all those thoughts that create your anger. You will not be able to stay angry and even worse, if you practice these things, even for a few minutes each day, your body starts to get trained to go into a relaxation response instead of a stress response. So even when something happens that usually would give you a lovely level of anger, your body may start to go into relaxation mode and this will keep your thinking clear and you won’t be able to work up much anger at all. Do not explore any of these types of activities – keep a healthy scepticism and your anger will be safe to live another day.

10.Above all, do not laugh. If you laugh at yourself – that great big beautiful anger will deflate like a pierced balloon. After all your hard work to work up that much anger – what a waste. You want to keep feeling angry. Don’t laugh.

For more great information on anger you can check out this site.

For further help or information you can make an appointment with Valerie in Mind and Wellness Services through Jodie in the Student Success Hub at extension 2519.

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